People often ask how I got involved with counseling those affected by genital herpes. I was misdiagnosed with the virus just over 10 years ago and lived for 8 years sorting through the same confusion and misinformation that so many people dealing with this disease face. What ís even more important is that I had to deal with the self-esteem and relationship issues that come up once a person finds out they are positive for the herpes virus. It ís very difficult emotionally, but I discovered hope and I discovered answers and I want to give that back to the community which was my own for a significant part of my life.

In 1994, at 16 years old, I experienced some uncomfortable symptoms that led me to a clinic that supposedly treated STD's. I had just come out of a relationship with someone who I discovered I didn't know as well as I thought and I was suspicious that the symptoms might be related. The doctor entered the room and did a very quick visual exam and told me that I had herpes. I began to cry and asked if he was sure. He said 99 percent and he left the room. He was cold and I felt judged. I was ashamed and felt my life was over. The nurse came in and said she didn't really know anything about herpes but that I would have it forever, and gave me a prescription for Valtrex.

I was devastated. This was not supposed to happen to me. "I was a good girl," "I made a mistake," "I did not live the life of someone who gets STD's." These were all the thoughts that were going through my mind. I didn't think I would ever find someone to love me, and I didn't think I would ever have sex again. It was the most painful experience I've ever gone through emotionally.

After that doctors visit, I went to my own doctor for a second opinion. They told me it was possible that it wasn't herpes and thankfully took good care of me by testing me for everything in the book which was the least of which the first doctor should've done. All my other tests came back okay but my tests for herpes were not definitive because the tests back then were not very reliable. They told me to come back if I had symptoms again. I left believing that I had the virus and tried to prepare myself for a new life. I devoured books on the subject and gained some comfort finding out that many people who get STD's are not the "type" who thinks they are at risk. It helped to read other people's stories. I also became very angry because herpes was very different from what I was taught in my 8^th grade health class. People can have the disease and pass it onto you even if they are not experiencing symptoms and even if they use a condom. It ís also possible that your partner does not know he/she is carrying the virus. Symptoms can be very mild, so mild that most people don't know they have it. Had I known these things, maybe I would have made different choices, and maybe I could have protected myself.

I never had clear symptoms again, but because I knew that my symptoms could be very mild I assumed that I was still carrying the virus, so for the next 8 years of my life I lived trying to understand the disease and understand my body.

I felt like a victim. I felt trapped in my own body. I felt invaded. Every little itch and nuance I assumed could be an activation of the virus. I was no longer in control and I felt less freedom and power over my future; that was the hardest part. The next most difficult part was needing to tell people and be accepted so that I would not feel alone. I was scared. The social stigmas about this disease and people who have it are misguided. I believed people would think I was dirty and/or they would be scared. I began to tell friends more and more over time, and was relieved to find I was accepted and loved anyway. I did not have one bad experience in telling someone. My worst experience by far was with the doctor who diagnosed me. Eventually I got to a point where most of my friends knew and this made it so much easier to deal with. I felt normal because they all treated me normal and seemed to be unaffected. They were all caring and loving.

In 2002 I began to date someone who I liked a lot. We discussed herpes in the beginning of the relationship and telling him about it was very difficult for me, even after all of my positive experiences. He told me that it didn't change his desire to be with me, that the relationship was making him too happy. At that time I discovered there were new tests out for herpes that were very accurate and could distinguish between type 1 (which usually causes cold sores, but also causes genital herpes) and type 2 (usually genital, but sometimes causes oral infections) of the virus. For various reasons it's important to know which type you carry, and I wanted to find out. I went for the tests and was fortunate to get one of the POCkit Tests before they stopped making them. Biokit USA picked up the POCkit technology and is now offering this same test as Biokit-HSV-2 www.herpesdiagnoses.com. These were very accurate tests for type 2, and you could find out your results in less than 10 minutes. There in the office I discovered I was negative for type 2. This was great news. I assumed that it must be type 1 that I had. I called two weeks later to get those results and they were negative too. I couldn't believe it. I was negative for both types after all this time? After all this time of working through emotions, my self-esteem, being frustrated with doctors, and informing my friends?

That year I started my counseling practice while attending the Institute For Integrative Nutrition. I decided I wanted to dedicate a large part of my practice to helping people with herpes. I also wanted to educate the public and doctors because unfortunately many doctors know very little and are leaving their patients in the dark and confused. I'm passionate about changing this. For clients I provide education and information needed to make sense of what has happened and help them ensure having a very fulfilling and great future. I answer the many questions that are on their mind and counsel them around self-esteem and relationship issues that come up like how to tell a partner, and how to protect a partner. I will even work with couples to help them understand together how to deal with herpes in the relationship. My experience was a very real and life changing one, and I'm probably more passionate than anything else about giving the community answers and support to live a full life, because in the end, herpes is very manageable and for most people only a minor annoyance in their life.