If you’re feeling depressed or anxious, it can be hard to find the energy to do things that are rewarding or that bring you joy. Even some people who would not identify as anxious or depressed are finding themselves feeling a bit lost as they transition out of the pandemic and back into a semi-normal life. If this is you, you might have forgotten how good certain things you used to enjoy can feel.

The thing about these experiences—depression, anxiety, trauma, change—is that a rhythm of doing things that tend to fill your soul can be lost. New beliefs can creep in that these things don’t matter or won’t make a difference or distressing thoughts can be so pre-occupying that it becomes hard to find the space to relax and enjoy something that takes any effort.

But it’s important to do these things anyway.

Finding a way to keep rewarding activities in your life or restart them will help you to stay grounded and will nourish you so that you have more energy to tackle the challenges life presents. Doing things that make you feel like you can also help you to problem solve or make decisions. The thing is, you often have to just decide to do the activity rather than wait for the feeling of desire to motivate you. If you keep doing the activities, the desire and good feelings will often return.

If what you usually like to do just feels too overwhelming right now, you can start small.

• Watch a movie or series that you love, one that always made you laugh

• Take a bath

• Buy a fun color and paint your nails

• Use some lotion that has a scent that you love

When you’re ready, start to do the bigger things you enjoy. Maybe it’s a run in the park, time with friends, honing a skill that you used to find interesting. Try to do it at the time of day when you’re most likely to follow through. Some people find it easiest to do the activity as soon as they get out of bed, before they have a chance to talk themselves out of it. Others find it easiest to do it right after work. And some people find that signing up for a class or activity they have to attend every week at the same time (which also has the benefit of meeting people you can see regularly) is what helps them.

If you try these things and are still struggling, please seek support, whether from friends, a support group, or a therapist. Fortunately, there is a lot of online counseling available these days, so therapy can be more easily accessible. But I am also finding that many of my own clients feel better when they come to counseling in person. If you don’t have a counselor and aren’t sure where to start, you can google for counselors and psychotherapists in your zip code or call your health insurance for a referral. If you are in NYC, you can also get a referral through NYC Well.

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About Melissa King

I am a licensed mental health counselor in New York City with a psychotherapy office in the neighborhood of Murray Hill in Manhattan. Find out more about me here. I'd love to hear from you. Email me if there's a topic you'd like to read about here.

**Information on this site is not intended to replace medical advice and does not constitute a psychotherapeutic relationship with the reader.