New Year's Reflection Exercise
/Wow, this is the first post of 2019! That’s going on my list of things to change in 2020!
I love connecting with you through this blog, so on one hand I am sad that I have not been able to post in 2019, however, as I reflect on the last year, I recall that it was not only a very busy one, but also a year that I took time for self-care and personal activities that nourish me and bring me joy, something I am often working to help clients do. As therapists, we call these “reward-seeking activities.”
People often stop doing “reward-seeking activities” when they become depressed or are struggling with other issues that affect their mental health. Making effort to do activities that ultimately reward you with joy or deeper fulfillment is an important therapeutic tool and can help prevent things like low mood and depression.
It may seem a bit cliché, but I love to close each year with a reflection about what was good and what I want to change. It’s a time of year that I often challenge clients to think about these things, and this year I provided a worksheet that received a positive response from many of those I work with. Clients said it was helpful and some of them reflected at length on the questions.
I thought I’d share this worksheet with you as you bring 2019 to a close and think about what you’d like to do differently in 2020. I hope the exercise is helpful to you in both noting what worked well in 2019 and in making small (or big) changes to improve the quality of your life in 2020. Reflecting on whether you made an effort to pursue reward-seeking activities and how you will do so in 2020 is one of the questions.
You can download the worksheet here as a PDF or simply review the questions below.
Reflecting on 2019
Take a few moments to reflect on who you have become, what you have done and what you experienced or learned.
After you have spent some time freely reflecting, think about the following questions:
What worked well this year?
What are you proud of?
Was there anything unexpected?
Was there anything deeply meaningful or memorable that happened or that you learned this year?
What didn’t work well in 2019?
What would you like to change or improve?
As you continue to reflect, consider what worked and didn’t work in the following categories— feel free to choose only those categories that feel relevant to you at this time:
Professional/Career
Home Environment/Aesthetics
Marriage
Sex/Sexual Health
Dating
Close Relationships/Friendships
Social Life (social activities or activities involving those who may be less close to you) Family
Finances
Spirituality
Health
Fitness/Physical Activity
Reward-Seeking Behavior/Activities that bring you joy, pride, or positive feelings Habits (good habits/bad habits)
As you think about the coming year, 2020, is there anything you want to:
Add:
Reduce:
Do more of:
Do less of:
Change:
Learn about:
Reflect on over the year (such as a theme or quote):
Is there a narrative you tell yourself that needs to change about your past or future?
Are there new habits or disciplines that you’d like to implement (daily, weekly, monthly)?
Thinking further into the future, where would you like to see yourself in. People tend to have the most difficulty with this section. Do what feels relevant and move on. Don’t be afraid to dream. We can’t always predict what will happen and how things will change as the years go by. That’s ok!
1 month
6 months
1 year
2 years
5 years
10 years
Now reflect on this exercise as a whole and choose 2 or 3 of the goals or changes you want to make that stand out most or that are most important. List them below:
For each of them, think through the following questions. Choose the questions that are relevant to this particular goal:
1st goal or change:
How will I achieve this?
Are there any obstacles I need to plan for or be prepared for?
What resources do I have to help me?
What do I have control over?
What do I not have control over?
What time frame will you commit to before giving up or re-evaluating? (i.e. 30 days, 60 days)
2nd Goal or Change
How will I achieve this?
Are there any obstacles I need to plan for or be prepared for? What resources do I have to help me?
What parts do I have control over?
What parts do I not have control over?
What time frame will you commit to before giving up or re-evaluating? (i.e. 30 days, 60 days)
3rd Goal or Change
How will I achieve this?
Are there any obstacles I need to plan for or be prepared for?
What resources do I have to help me?
What parts do I have control over?
What parts do I not have control over?
What time frame will you commit to before giving up or re-evaluating? (i.e. 30 days, 60 days)
